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The sleep book told me to do it.

We were at a program today and another mom was raving about a sleep book. It wasn't one that I had heard of. She said that the book recommends waking up every 3 hours during the night and nursing your baby while he/she sleeps. As she explained, then if your baby wakes up during the night, you can safely ignore him/her because you know that he/she isn't hungry.

I obviously gave her a look indicately my belief that that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard, because she offered gratutiously, "that is what the book says to do."

Really? Are we so insecure in our parenting choices that we have to rely on a book to give us permission to ignore our babies' cries?

I will admit to relying heavily on the works of Dr. William Sears, the creator of the attachment parenting philosophy. That said, his books confirm what I already believe; that babies should be held as much as possible, that it is safe and wonderful to sleep with your babies, that babies should be breastfed for as long as possible, that we need to fuel their little bodies with nutritious food, and that babies cry for a reason. I didn't need a book to tell me what to think.

My son sometimes wakes in the night, and almost never needs more that a snuggle to fall back asleep. In fact, lately, he doesn't even cry, he simply crawls over to me or my husband in bed and curls up against us. I believe that he has taught himself to soothe himself this way, and he doesn't need to cry to get the affection he needs.

I'm 35 years old, and sometimes I wake up in the night needing some comfort. I cannot understand why any one would deny an infant the easiest thing in the world to give.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 24th, 2009 12:19 pm (UTC)
Well put!
Here here. I wish someone had told me as a new mother that the only voice I had to listen to was that of my intuition. This didn't dawn on me until after I had read "Our babies, ourselves" - in my opinion the best non-parenting parenting book out there. Unfortunately I only read this book and started trusting my intuition several months after my daughter was born, and in the meantime I had tried all sorts of "sleep tactics" by well-meaning but anti-intuition sleep "experts". So far my only regret as a parent is the one time I attempted the cry-it-out method, with disastrous results for both of us. I would advise any parent never to ignore an infant who is in distress.
Apr. 25th, 2009 02:43 am (UTC)
Re: Well put!
Thank you!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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